Spicy Sausage Pasta - A Personal Favorite

Spicy, cheesy goodness! 

So a long time ago (maybe like a year?) I came across this recipe from Kevin & Amanda and pinned it on Pinterest. When Jess and I first moved in together I would occasionally ask his input for meal planning, etc. By the way, I plan EVERYTHING. I have a monthly calendar and have meals planned at least 2 weeks out, sometimes more AND grocery lists by week. I grocery shop on Sunday mornings, religiously. Hahaha, pun intended.

Anyway, getting Jess's opinion normally turned into me doing the whole eye doctor questionaire thing: Recipe A or Recipe B? Recipe A or Recipe C? Well after a few months of him shooting down this spicy sausage pasta (he said the ingredients didn't sound like they "went together," shows what he knows...) I decided to stop asking and just make it. Not that we keep track of these things, but I totally won the spicy sausage pasta debate. IT IS SO GOOD. This is definitely one of my favorite dinners and I try to work it in as often as I can. It is delicious, cheesy, spicy, filling, mmmmm, I'm hungry and want more.

Not only is it yummy, it is pretty economical and very simple to make, too. I usually serve it with a loaf of french bread (the $1 loaves at Wal-Mart are actually very good!). I usually use an entire box of pasta and we both have leftovers for our lunches for a day or two, depending on how hungry we were, ha. I've added spinach to the mix before and that was good, too.

Ingredients:
1 lb smoked sausage (or some equivalent, I've used andouille and other types, too, but love 4-Pepper Blend)
1/2 onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
16 oz bite-sized pasta (I'm a huge fan of garden rotini, it adds a nice color to this already colorful dish)
1 can Ro-Tel tomatoes and green chiles
2 cups chicken broth
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 cup shredded cheese, I use pepper jack but you can use a monterey jack or something similar
1/4 cup green onions, sliced thin
Olive oil

First, cut your smoked sausage into bite-sized pieces. I slice it into coins and then quarter them...I like small bites. Dice up your onion, mince your garlic, and because I'm picky (sometimes) and don't really like tomato bites, I actually drain my Ro-Tel and mince up the tomatoes & green chiles, too. But be sure to reserve the liquid from the can, you need it for flavor!

Love my huge cutting board. 

Next, brown your sausage with just a little bit of olive oil. Add your onions and cook until transluscent, adding olive oil if needed. Add garlic and cook another 1-2 minutes.

Next, add in Ro-Tel (with liquid) and chicken broth. Bring to a boil.

And we're boiling.

Add heavy cream and pasta, stir, turn down to a simmer. Cover and let sit for 15(ish) minutes or until your pasta is cooked. I stir once about half way through just to make sure it isn't sticking.

Add cheese, mix in well and let sit a minute or so until it melts.

The cheese makes the sauce!

Add green onions on top and serve!

It makes great leftovers, too!

This is seriously good. And it is one of those one pot (skillet) pastas, so not many dirty dishes! Really this is what I have to wash: cutting board, knife, strainer, spoon, skillet. EASY.

I mean, just, look at it. 

While this is a bit spicy, you can always tone it down by using mild Ro-Tel and non-spicy cheese.

Enjoy!

Delicious & Budget Friendly Valentine's (or any) Day Feast: Lobster & Steak, Oh My!

Fancy dinner! 

Ok, so maybe Lobster isn't always budget friendly, but I was super lucky and found a package of two small wild-caught lobster at the clearance seafood counter at Kroger last week. Now, I know what you're thinking "um, clearance seafood?" But really that just means the grocer can't store it any longer and it needs to be eaten or frozen immediately. They were like $6, not kidding. That's how much you'd pay for like a (small) bite of lobster meat at a restaurant. And even normally buying raw food yourself is cheaper, but lobster is still expensive. So anyway, I found this package of two and I was like um how do I justify buying these? Duh, Valentine's Day! (I also found two pretty big salmon steaks for cheap...for a different day) We hadn't talked about it or anything, but since it was a Friday this year I thought it was probably much easier (and cheaper) to just have a nice dinner and movie at home instead of fighting the crowds out.

Now there probably isn't enough meat on these lobster to satisfy us, so I decided to splurge (kinda) on some filets wrapped in bacon. These aren't nice steaks, rather they are prepackaged somewhere probably scary that I don't want to think about, but they're cheap and we've had them a few times, if you prepare them properly they taste pretty damn good. They're $3.99 each, so affordable for a special occasion. Throw in a veggie, a potato, some wine, and a dessert, BAM: fancy dinner.

Following is a step-by-step guide to making this: Steamed whole lobster, medium-rare filets wrapped in bacon, the best canned green beans you've ever had, loaded twice-baked potatoes, and classic creme brulee.

Notes:
1. Creme Brulee is a two day process AND it requires a kitchen torch. It has to chill for several hours, so it is just easiest to do it the night before. I also bought my torch from Bed, Bath & Beyond. They have torches alone or entire creme brulee sets (with ramekins) for $20-40.
2. I went ahead and prepared the potatoes the day before, also, so they were ready to pop in the oven for 15 minutes.
3. This meal requires a lot of simultaneous timers. So you will probably need your oven timer, microwave timer, phone timer, and perhaps another one. Sorry.

I'm going to go through the order of things how I did them, but then below I'll list out step-by-step instructions for each individual dish separately in case you don't want all of the food together. Although, I'm not sure why you wouldn't...

Here we go.

Ingredients:
Lobster -
2 small/medium lobster (mine were frozen, pre-cooked)
6 TBSP butter

Steak -
2 steaks (the thicker the better)
1 stick of butter
1 TBSP olive oil
Salt & Pepper

Green Beans -
2 cans French cut green beans
1/4 onion, diced small
3 pieces of bacon, cooked & crumbled
Chicken or beef broth

Loaded Twice-Baked Potatoes -
6 potatoes
olive oil
6 TBSP Butter
1/2 cup milk (or half & half or heavy cream or some combo)
1/4 cup sour cream
Salt & Pepper
1 Cup shredded cheddar cheese + more for sprinkling
4 pieces of bacon, cooked & crumbled
1/4-1/3 cup green onion, diced small

Creme Brulee -
2 cups heavy cream
2 TSP vanilla
1/2 cup sugar, divided
2 large egg yolks

First, about a day before you want to serve it, make the creme brulee. Also, move your lobsters and steaks to the refrigerator to thaw (if they're frozen).

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
In a medium sauce pan, combine the heavy cream and vanilla over medium-low heat, stirring constantly until it starts to bubble/simmer, about 7-8 minutes. Do not let it boil, curdled cream is gross. Remove from heat, cover, and let sit for 15 minutes.

Doesn't quite look like much, yet...

In a bowl, whisk together 1/4 cup of the sugar and 3 egg yolks until well blneded. Add the cream slowly, a little at a time, stirring until it is all well combined.

I love my pink whisks.

Slowly incorporate. 

Pour into 4 ramekins (7-8 oz each). Place ramekins in a deep pan and pour enough hot water into the pan to come up half up the sides of the ramekins. Be careful when moving, don't spill water into the ramekins. Bake for 40-45 minutes. Let cool, refrigerate.

Cooling.

Alright, get your potatoes out. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Wash your potatoes well, dry, pierce a few times with a fork, brush with olive oil and sprinkle with salt. Lay on a foil-lined baking pan. Bake for 1 hour. Let cool.

Cut potatoes in half and scoop out insides (leave enough to keep the skin standing up).

I think you probably know what a
potato with salt & olive oil on it looks
like. 

In a bowl, mix together the scooped out potato insides, 6 TBSP butter, the milk/cream/half&half, sour cream, cheddar cheese, bacon bits, green onions, and about 1/2 teaspoon of salt & pepper.

Yum. 

Refill the potatoes with the mixture and top with a little more cheese. There's never enough cheese. At this point, I covered mine with saran wrap and put them in the fridge.

I just wrapped them in saran wrap
right there on the pan. 

DAY TWOOOOO:
Now you're ready to prepare for the big meal!
Put your steaks on the counter on a plate (unwrapped from whatever they were in). Dab off the excess blood, etc. with a paper towel and let come to room temperature, about an hour.

Green beans: easy, peasy. Lightly saute your onions just until they're soft. I do this just in the small saucepan I do the green beans in. Add your bacon (crumbled, I made mine before with the bacon for the potatoes) and DRAINED green beans. Next, add enough chicken or beef broth to cover the beans. I actually add water and bring it to a boil and then add 2-3 teaspoons of Better than Bouillion, but you can just use a can or carton (or, gasp, homemade) broth. Add salt and pepper to your taste.

Onions & bacon. 

It is important to use French cut...I mean,
they just taste better, right? 

Bring to a boil quickly, then turn down to a simmer and forget. Well, don't start a fire or anything, but just let them simmer until dinner is ready, maybe stirring or adding liquid if it evaporates.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Set your lobsters out on the counter to warm up a little (they should be thawed out!). Set out the potatoes, too, so just in case you have them on the baking pan you don't put that in the oven straight out of the refrigerator. And while you're at it, get the creme brulee out, too. Haha.

"Hello!" - Lobsters

Season steaks with salt & pepper on both sides.

I've also been known to add a little bit of minced garlic.

Alright, get out a heavy-bottomed, oven-safe pan. Heat up to medium-high temperature, think really hot. You want to be able to sear your steaks, so lots of heat at one time, not cooking the inside of the steak too much. When pan is hot add 1/2 stick of butter and olive oil. Don't add too soon and burn the butter. Add your steaks.

Don't move them once you lay them in the pan, this is how you form a nice sear. Cook on each side 2-3 minutes, depending on how thick your steak is. When they are cooking, continually scoop butter from the pan onto the top of the steaks with a spoon, being careful not to get burned.

Make sure you have your fan on, these will smoke
quite a bit. 

Presumably your oven is heated by now. Quickly take a break from spooning butter and put your potatoes in the oven on the bottom rack. Set timer for 15 minutes. Resume spooning.

When steaks have seared 2-3 minutes on both sides, put pan and all in the middle of the top rack of the oven. Set timer for 5 minutes.

Head over to your lobster. Lay on a foil-lined baking pan, belly-up. Slice straight down the middle of the tail and stuff each with butter, 1-3 TBSP, depending on how large your lobster are.

When the steak timer goes off, add the remaining butter (1/4 stick each) to the tops of the steaks. Set timer for 1 1/2 minutes. Remove steaks from oven AND from pan - put on cutting board or plate. Let rest 5-10 minutes.

The butter fell off the front one, I put it back on
after I took the photo. 

And we are resting. 

Put lobsters in the oven for 5 minutes. Remember, mine are precooked so I am just heating them up, but I don't want to overcook them and make them rubbery. If you have raw (or live, oooooh) lobster you'll have to manage that one on your own...

Remove lobsters (and probably potatoes, if you haven't already) from the oven.

Serve dinner!! Remember to melt some butter in a small bowl to dip your lobster meat in...god this meal used a lot of butter, Paula Dean would be proud. Oh well.

I need to work on my plating...Gordon would not be pleased. 

Alright, chow down and then refer back to me for the dessert.

The creme brulee should have been out of the refrigerator for about 30 minutes by now. Sprinkle tops of custard with sugar, split about 1/4 cup between them. Use a torch to brown the sugar, being careful not to burn.

Wouldn't this be lovely with some fresh berries? 

Allow to rest for 5 minutes, serve.

And there you have it, a full fancy feast (not to be confused with the cat food...) for date night! And it wasn't expensive (I think total it cost about $25 in total and most of the things I had on hand, anyway!

Below are the instructions for each individual dish, save for the lobster because that was literally just heating up precooked stuff. Ha.

A perfect, medium-rare steak:
1. Thaw steaks, if frozen.
2. Leave on counter for about an hour to bring to room temperature.
3. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
4. Season steaks with salt & pepper, maybe some garlic or other seasonings if you're feeling brave.
5. Melt half a stick of butter and 1 tablespoon olive oil in oven-safe skillet at a medium-high temperature. (Heat pan BEFORE adding butter, then let butter melt & olive oil heat up)
6. Sear steaks 2-3 minutes on each side, continually scooping residual melted butter onto the top of the steaks.
7. Once they're seared, place pan and all in the center of the oven and bake for 6-8 minutes, adding 1/4 stick of butter to the top of each steak with about a minute or so left to cook.
8. Remove from oven AND pan, allow to rest 5-10 minutes on plate or cutting board.

The best canned green beans, ever:
1. Cook and crumble 2-3 pieces of bacon.
2. Cook 1/4 of a diced onion until soft, I usually do it in the bacon grease or a little olive oil.
3. Drain FRENCH CUT green beans and add to small sauce pan with onions and bacon.
4. Add enough chicken or beef broth (I vote beef) to cover beans, bring to a boil.
5. Turn heat down to a simmer.
6. Salt & pepper to taste.

Loaded, twice-baked potatoes:
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Rinse potatoes well, dry.
3. Pierce with fork and brush with olive oil and sprinkle with salt.
4. Bake potatoes for 1 hour. Let cool.
5. Cook and crumble about 4 pieces of bacon.
6. Cut potatoes in half and scoop out insides (leave enough to keep the skin standing up).
7. Mash potatoes in bowl and mix with butter, milk (or half&half/cream), sour cream, bacon, cheddar cheese, green onion, and about 1/2 teaspoon salt & pepper.
8. Refill potatoes with mixture, sprinkle with extra cheese.
9. Bake for 15 minutes.

Classic Creme Brulee -
1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
2. In medium saucepan over low-med heat, combine 2 cups heavy cream and 1 teaspoon vanilla, stirring constantly until bubbly, about 7-8 minutes.
3. Remove from heat, cover, and let sit for 15 minutes.
4. In a bowl, whisk together 1/4 cup sugar and 3 large egg yolks until well blended.
5. Add cream a little at a time, stirring until well combined.
6. Pour into ramekins.
7. Place ramekins in a deep pan. Pour enough hot water into the pan to come up halfway up the sides of the ramekins.
8. Bake for 40-45 minutes.
9. Let cool, then refrigerate for at least 2 hours but up to 3 days.
10. Remove from refrigerator at least 30 minutes prior to browning.
11. Divide 1/4 cup sugar between ramekins and sprinkle on top of custard.
12. Use a torch to evenly brown the tops, being careful not to scorch.
13. Allow to rest 5 minutes before serving.

ENJOY!

Look, I Made This: Drawstring Ditty Bag

So who loves those Vera Bradley Drawstring Bags? This girl. I had one at some point in my life but somehow between moving back and forth from college 4 times, traveling the world, and generally having too many things, I have lost it. So a few weeks ago I decided it can't be that hard to make one, right? Hey, I was right! I searched and found a few tutorials, but Kim's at Oh, Sweet Joy! was my favorite. I pretty much followed her instructions, except I pinned the pieces together and didn't make mine for toiletries, so I just used regular cotton fabric. I also didn't leave at much space at the top for a cute little ruffle like hers has, but that's ok because this was a practical project for me, not a cutesie one, so I am satisfied.

These little bags are PERFECT for keeping your undergarments in when you travel. I'm going to make another one out of this cute teal chevron remnant I found a while back so I'll have two: one for clean and one for dirty! They would make adorable gifts, too. It's quick, too, I think total time it took me about an hour to finish, but I was doing other things and got distracted and oh look my dogs are cute...that is how my brain works. Let's get started, shall we?

Materials:
1/2 yard of fabric (I used regular old calico/cotton/"normal," if you will, but if you want this to hold toiletries like shampoo, conditioner, etc., follow the advice in the link above and get laminated cotton or oilcloth or maybe line it with vinyl or something similarly waterproof/washable.)
Coordinating thread
Scissors
Pins
Ruler
Bowl or circle pattern for base (I'll explain what I used below)
Iron
Sewing machine & basic notions
Seam ripper

Seam ripper not pictured.  I assume you know
what one is.

Be sure to wash & dry your fabric as you will the final item before you sew it. Mine got all tangly and frayed in the dryer, but it turned out ok after I snipped the frayed edges off. I probably won't wash the final bag much, anyway. This is also probably a good time to say that I am not very good at ironing. When I say not good, I actually mean I'm really terrible at it. It took me longer to iron out these pieces of fabric than it did to sew the entire bag. Not kidding. Ugh, but they were so wrinkly and I had to.

Cut out your pieces. I used Microsoft Word to create an 8" circle and printed/cut it out for my bottom pattern, the link above used a bowl, you use whatever you want. The following measurements are based on an 8 inch base. If you choose to make it bigger or smaller, you'll have to pull out your old geometry knowledge and figure up the circumference of the circle and apply that to the length of your body piece. Hint: it isn't difficult.
The piece I used for the body was 26"x15x and the drawstring piece was 2"x29".

I need new scissors. 

To make the drawstring, fold your fabric in half lengthwise, iron, fold in half again, iron, stitch. That easy. I had to use pins to keep it folded and then as a sewed down the center (no one is going to see it, yay for ugly stitches!) I pulled the pins out. Set aside.

Next, pin the body piece of fabric around the circle base piece, matching up the edge of the circle to the long side of the rectangle, right sides together. If your fabric is stiff you can cut little notches or slits in the long edge of the rectangle to help it curve. Mine was still kind fraying so it did alright.

Stitch around the circle. The trick here is to go slow, make sure your two pieces stay lined up correctly and don't bunch up under the foot. If it starts to fold or bunch, stop sewing, gently flatten out your fabric, and continue. Sew all the way around, leaving the excess rectangular fabric sticking out.

Remember to go slow. 

Next, pin together the short sides of the rectangle (the height of your bag). I winged it and didn't really measure, but just laid it on a table and laid a ruler up from the edge of the circle to the top and pinned along there. Then I sewed just to one side of the pins. If you want it to be perfectly cylindrical, lay it flat and measure the same diameter of your circle and sew it there. Sew it up. Ta-da: bag! Not quite finished, though.

"winging it"...

Still inside out, fold the top out and down about 2", wrong sides together. I didn't measure this either. I sewed close to the bottom edge and then again about 3/4" above that. Make sure there is enough room between your two rows of stitches to fit your drawstring through, depending on how large your drawstring ended up being. Mine was 1/2".

You can see the first stitch line and approximately how far it is from
the second one...

Turn your bag right side out! Yay, almost finished! Next, find the spot between the two rows of stitches where the big seam runs through. Being very careful, use your seam ripper to open up that seam INSIDE the two rows of stitches. I tore my fabric a little, it's ok. I think.

Just a little slit. 

Next, thread your drawstring through that little hole and all the way around. In theory you should be able to attach a safety pin to one end of your string and use that to work it through, but I couldn't find a pin anywhere. So i tied a knot in one end of my drawstring, inserted it in, and then used a chopstick to push it through as far as the chopstick would go, and then I just used my own nimble fingers to work it through the last few inches and out the same hole!

Voila, drawstring bag. Tie a knot (I did a double) on each end of the drawstring, fill the bag up with goodies, enjoy!

I think this picture is blurry, now that I see it on the computer...

Not the prettiest, but it's functional. Again, I am satisfied.

Be on the lookout for my next post: A step-by-step guide to a great (and budget friendly) Valentine's Day feast.

Look, I Made This: Frocket Tee

Many people are familiar with t-shirts that have a patterned or embellished front pocket, or frocket, if you will. These are some of my favorite shirts! They are still just as comfy as your regular old shirt but are cute and versatile. For a while I have been eyeing some online but I just couldn't bring myself to pay $20-30 for one. So? You guessed it, I'll do it myself! Now the first one I made didn't have very clean lines or stitches, but hey I'm not perfect. The second one went a little smoother.

I found this wonderful remnant fabric at Joann's a few weeks ago and I couldn't decide what to do with it. Joann's remnants are 50% the original yardage price of the fabric, so: score. It is such a pretty multi-color chevron knit, but only about 1/4 yard long, so too short to make top or skirt out of. But THEN I was wandering around the store when I found these long sleeve Jerzees t-shirts for 50% off which made them seriously like $2 or something. I bought a light pink and a heather gray to coordinate with my chevron knit and voila, the frocket project was born.

It's soooooo pretty. 

For those of you without sewing machines, this could be done by handstitching fairly easily with a little patience. There is only about 12 inches of stitching to be done (24 if you hem your pocket before instead of just pinning, up to you) so it wouldn't take long.

So, Materials:
1 t-shirt (seriously, any t-shirt)
1 6x6 (ish) square of fabric (I used knit, but you could use pretty much whatever)
Coordinating (or contrasting) thread
Ruler
Pins
Sewing machine & basic notions

First, decide how big you want your pocket. I wanted mine to be pretty standard, so I dug around in my drawers and found a t-shirt with a pocket and measured it. It was 4.5 x 4.5", give or take a little for the pointed bottom.

Next, I folded my hem down on top and stitched across making a roughly 1/2" hem. then, I folded the sides in on both sides so that the fabric was 4.5" across and did another 1/2" hem down both sides. Then I trimmed the extra fabric on the inside close to the stitch so there wouldn't be anything bulking out when I sewed it onto my shirt.

Next is the trickiest part: the pointed bottom.  Find the middle of your pocket and mark it at the bottom. Now fold both sides of the bottom up slightly to form the point, be sure to measure it so that it stays in the middle and the sides rise up the same length. Pin in place when you have it even. You can go ahead and stitch 1/2" in on those two folded edges of the point if you'd like (I did), it would frame the pocket nicely, or if you're ready to sew it to your shirt, proceed.

I trimmed off that excess fabric before I started sewing. 

This is seriously such a fast project. As in I made the entire pocket start to finish on my lunch break and still had time to eat and watch half an episode of The Walking Dead...I have a vast array of hobbies and interests.

To pin it to your shirt you can do it one of two ways. One: put your t-shirt on and use a mirror to determine where you want the pocket and pin it there. Two (what I did): line your new t-shirt up directly on top of a t-shirt that already has a pocket and lay them both flat on the ground or a table. Just feel around to see where the pocket is (you can feel it through the shirt) and lay your new pocket directly on top of that one. Pin it gently so that when you put your hand inside she shirt the pocket doesn't slide or get turned crooked.

Once it's pinned it is time to sew it on! I kind of winged it and didn't measure. Rather, I just sewed as close to the edge of the pocket as possible. Remember to backstitch at the beginning and the end to secure the stitches. Also, seems like a durr moment, but make sure you don't stitch across the top of the pocket...ahem, sometimes you just get on a roll...

Trim threads and try it on! If it doesn't fit where you'd like, use a seamripper and tear that baby off there, carefully, of course, and try it again. This project is super quick so it won't take you much time if you have to redo it.

Enjoy your fancy, new t-shirt!

Oh, yea, I made two of them. 

Fried Jalapeno (w/ bacon, sausage, etc...) Bombs

Yum. That is one word to describe these cheesy, gooey, delicious treats. I first made them (based on this recipe) on New Year's Eve and they were a hit, so my friends requested I make them again for our Superbowl get together. They aren't too difficult, perhaps a little time consuming, so I happily complied - I also enjoy eating them!

Now, these little beauties are not your average jalapeno poppers. In fact, I was at a loss of what to call them (the original blogger called them jalapeno bombs, as per the title of this post) because in fact, jalapenos are only one of many ingredients found inside. My friends and boyfriend have bounced back and forth between calling them jalabombs, jalapeno balls, and a personal favorite: mexican-inspired-crab-rangoon-of-sorts. Whatever you call them, they are delicious and addictive! This recipe is actually a double of the original and makes about 4 dozen, so if you don't have a big group of people you may want to half it. Or don't and gorge yourself on these delicious snacks, no judgement here.

Ingredients:
2 (8oz) blocks cream cheese, softened
1 lb spicy sausage, browned and drained
7-10 jalapenos, chopped
1 can Rotel tomatoes & green chiles, drained
1 cup shredded Mozzarella cheese (I use finely shredded)
4 slices of bacon, cooked and crumbled
3/4 cup flour (roughly)
1 Tablespoon Paprika
1 Tablespoon Chili Powder
1/2 Tablespoon Salt
1 Teaspoon Cayenne Pepper
2 eggs
1/4 cup milk w/a squirt of lemon juice (or buttermilk if you have it, I never do)
2 Tablespoons hot sauce
Panko bread crumbs - I didn't measure, but probably about 3-4 cups
Vegetable (or other) oil for frying
Salt for sprinkling at end

Necessary Ingredients

First things first, brown your sausage and fry your bacon. I chose to saute my jalapenos a little bit to soften them, but you definitely do not have to. I just wiped the pan I made the bacon in out with a paper towel and used the leftover bacon grease to soften them up for a few minutes over medium-low heat.

In a large mixing bowl, mix together cream cheese, sausage, bacon, jalapenos, Rotel tomatoes & green chiles, and mozzarella cheese.

I probably needed a bigger bowl...I made a bit of a mess.

Once it is thoroughly mixed, start rolling. I rolled mine into 3/4"-1" balls and then put them on a piece of wax paper. Refrigerate balls for about an hour (or up to 24 hours, as I did) to harden them up. I just slid a cutting board under the wax paper, but you could also do a baking sheet or if you're making a small batch, just a plate.

They're definitely easier to eat if they're small, but if you make them
too small they won't have a bit of everything in them, which you want!

Next is battering them, there are three stations. Bowl One: flour, paprika, chili powder, salt, and cayenne pepper. Bowl Two: eggs (lightly beaten), milk, hot sauce. Bowl three: panko bread crumbs.

I should probably invest in some bigger bowls so I don't have to use
my cereal/soup ones. Oh well. 

Roll the hardened balls in flour first, then dip them in egg (shaking gently to get the excess off), then cover them with Panko bread crumbs. I do all of this and then put them on a new sheet of wax paper, but you could do it as you fry them if you wanted to bread and immediately put in the hot oil.

Pour enough oil in a deep pan so that a cream cheese ball can be completely submerged, probably about 1.5-2" deep, I use a large pot so for me that is an entire quart of vegetable oil. Over medium heat, bring the oil up to about 350 degrees F. Invest in a thermometer! I didn't have one for the longest time and it made frying things much more difficult and I was always unsure of whether my foods were getting done or not, seriously you can get one at Wal-Mart for about $3.

Fry your balls for 2 minutes, stirring once or twice during that time. Do not put too many in the pan at one time, this lowers the temperature of the oil and will cause issues with the finished product. My pan was large and I could fit about 8-10 in without overcrowding.

Be sure to turn on a fan or something, you don't want your kitchen to
smell like a diner...

Remove to a pan or plate to keep warm, maybe with a paper towel on the bottom for excess oil (probably won't be a lot). Sprinkle with salt. I lined the crock from my crock pot with aluminum foil and kept them in there since we were traveling, but if we were eating them at home I probably would have turned the oven on to warm and kept them on a pan in there.

Enjoy your hard work and pig out on these babies!

Seriously, yum.